Learning Experience #1: Loving Completely

“You can love completely without complete understanding.”

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the quote we discussed in class today. Thinking about the way it relates to my own life, I’m starting to notice which people in my life this holds true for. My mom, my dad, sister, brother, cousins, etc. Then I started to notice that these people all had something in common. The only people I think that this applies to is my family. I’m not sure why. However, I do know that it didn’t always used to be like that.

There used to be a time where I would always forgive friends and others for what they did. Although some may call it letting people “walk all over me” I thought of it as just being a caring person. No matter what anyone did, I would forgive them, as I knew that if I ever made a mistake, I would want others to forgive me in the same way as well. I thought it was a good way to lead life.

It wasn’t until later in life that I discovered that the person getting hurt in the long run with this kind of thinking, is me. Yes, I thought that forgiving people was just a part of life. However, what about a second time? A third time? A sixth? It seemed as though the same people were hurting me over and over and I couldn’t take it anymore. I cut out all the people that just didn’t make me feel good about myself. I thought that maybe I was acting a little harsh, but I needed to do what was best for me.

So, why doesn’t this thinking apply to family for me? The answer: I’m not sure. I feel like maybe its because I’ve always been taught that I HAVE to love family, no matter what. This sense of obligation was always there. Somehow I just feel like I get to chose my friends, but family is what I was stuck with, and will always be stuck with. My parents would frequently tell my brother, sister, and me that we must always stick together, no matter what happens.

In A River Runs Through It, Norman loves his brother unconditionally. It’s something that I admire and that is an important part of the novel. Paul repeatedly got himself into trouble with gambling, however Norman just kept on loving him and kept trying to help him. He didn’t understand why Paul was doing what he did, but he accepted it. Because of this, I just can’t help but think how the movie would have been like if Norman and Paul were just friends. Although it may have still had the same effect for people, I don’t think it would have for me. Maybe I would have taken pity on Norman because of his attachment to Paul.

People have different opinions on who's worthy of their love and who isn’t. I think I’m happy with my decisions. Who knows if that may change in the future.

Conversation Partner #2:Eid-ing

On October 6, I had the pleasure of going to the Eid celebration here at TCU. When I saw Maram last, she had told me that this event was coming up and that she’d really like for me to attend. I wasn’t really sure what the celebration was for, but agreed after seeing how excited she was about it. After going to the event, I was really happy that I was able to be a part of the experience. Upon arrival, I was greeted by familiar faces of the fantastic Lit and Civ II class. After sitting down and chatting for a while with them, the presentation started.

One of the students from Saudi Arabia was talking about what Eid means to them and what it signifies in the culture. For those that don’t know, Eid is a celebration of the breaking of fasting. For this event, many times the elders will give younger family members money or other things that may signify graciousness. This part of the presentation was shown with a funny video that included an elder sitting down in front of a line of young kids. When each of the kids walked up to him, excited for their turn in getting money, each of them greeted their elder with another way of getting the money. For example, one kid walked up to his elder with a card scanner in hand for the elder to swipe his card through and give the child his beloved money. This video got the whole room laughing as pretty much everyone was in on the joke.

Another part of Eid is of course, the feast. I was lucky enough to have eaten so much good food that day. For my meal, I had a chicken kabob, naan, hummus, and my personal favorite, the rice. Maram was a social butterfly that day so it took me a while to finally sit down and have lunch with her. She was telling me about all the foods I had to try and of course her beloved coffee that she had made herself. After that, I had asked if all the other food was prepared by her and the rest of the students, to which she replied quickly, “No, we got it from a store.” When I asked about the validity of the food, she replied that she believed it was pretty authentic. She did however, explain that all parts of Saudi Arabia had different food that was unique to them, so there was no way to get food from each part.

Through the Eid celebration, I was able to talk to other Saudi Arabian students including a boy that had lived in Moncrief last year where I worked as a Desk Assistant. He was telling me all about his studies and how although his English is better than most of the students, he still needs the program to help him out. This made me understand the importance of the program and how special the program is...and what good food they give.