Conversation Partner #4: Hard Times and Home

Going to our meeting today, I did not expect what we were going to talk about. I came in completely not knowing what I would ask Maram about today and I was nervous about it. Through our first three meetings, I learned so much about her that I did not know what else to ask. However, Maram seemed to have something in mind that she already wanted to talk about with me.

As soon as we got to Chick-fil-a, it seemed as though something was wrong with Maram. She did not seem as cheery as she always does. She greeted me with a forced smile and I knew that something was not okay. We ordered our food and I had waited to ask her what was wrong. I did not want to alarm her if nothing was actually wrong that day and she just had a moment. When we got our food and sat down, Maram immediately told me what was on her mind.

She had expressed to me that she was feeling down that her classes were so stressful. It seemed like it had been a hard week for her. She then apologized for not being the cheery person she has always been. I completely understood as when I’m really stressed out I’m definitely not the smiling person I usually am. I asked her what she had due this week and she proceeded to list all the projects, presentations, and tests she had that week. It worried me to see Maram so frustrated with school and I wanted to do what I could to make it better. I proceeded to ask her more about her schoolwork and asked if I could help in anyway. She was quick to reply with a thank you.

In order to distract her from school, I proceeded to ask her more about her family and ask if she had any plans for when she goes home in December. She replied that she did not have any specific plans, but that she was still excited to go home. I asked her what was the thing she misses the most about home and she immediately said “food”. I could completely agree as food was something that I missed constantly about being home as well. I told her about San Antonio and all the amazing dishes we have. Being a part of a huge Mexican community comes with its benefits as I am constantly surrounded by authentic traditional Mexican food. While I can’t always go to Mexico for the real thing, I really appreciate being able to have a little taste of it in San Antonio. She then proceeded to tell me that she really wants to visit my town. She said that her brother has always talked about it and how much he loves the riverwalk. I was quick to respond that she definitely needed to visit and that I would surely take her on a tour of my favorite places.

Although Maram seemed to have been having a bad day, I sincerely hoped that our meeting brightened it a little bit. I tried my best to remind her of the amazing time she will have in the future once she gets done with all of her studies here. When we left, she said she was a little happier and a bit more excited for the upcoming weeks, no matter how difficult.

Learning Experience #4: Super Danielle

         This semester I was lucky enough to take the post-production class in the Film/TV/Digital-Media department. Wanting to eventually work in the post production part of the industry, I was extremely excited to take this class from my favorite teacher in the department. Having taken two classes from this professor last semester, I knew that he would be one of those teachers that I would have to take again and again.
         I had taken motion graphics last semester which also deals with post work and I loved it. For the final project in that class, I had to work with the green screen to create a project. Many people chose to put themselves in a scene from a film or make themselves teleport from place to place. I got inspiration from one of my childhood loves: Super Mario. I re-created the entire Super Mario world and put myself in as Mario. I called it the ever clever: Super Danielle. The video is down below if you want to see how it turned out and go along with my shameless self promotion:

         As most people, I've never been extremely confident in my projects and abilities. Coming from a department where everyone always has such great ideas, it's hard to be able to distinguish yourself from your peers. Throughout the entire process, I was not sure how the end result would come out. I feared looking like a complete weirdo in front of my peers. When the day came around where I had to show the final project, everyone in the class clapped after my video was finished. I think I even heard a "Go Girl!" from the crowd. My professor was extremely supportive-as he always has been. He came up to me after the class and told me what a great job I had done and that he was very impressed with my work. I felt a sense of relief after the class was over. I felt confident and that I truly did a great job with my project.
        Taking post-production with the same professor this semester, I was both excited and nervous to take the class. I was excited because I knew I would be learning rich information but I was also nervous because I was afraid to let my teacher down. I did not want to go below his expectations of me-which I think is common for most honors students. Because I knew that this was the specific part of the industry I wanted to go into, I felt a big responsibility to do the very best in the class. I was trying my best to distinguish myself from the rest of the class again. I was intimidated by others that I knew were good editors, but I was very open to accepting and growing from their expertise.
        One of our projects was editing a scene from the TV show 24. I was extremely excited to work on this as we had footage from the actual show. It all felt real and seemed to mimic the setting we would be in in the industry. I worked diligently on the project, however, like most students, when I finished the project, I did not feel confident about it at all. When the time came to show all of our projects, my heart was beating so fast. We all gave critiques and compliments to each video, however I knew that I was my own worst critic.
        After viewing all of the projects, my professor said something that stuck out to me. He said something along the lines of "You see, not one of these projects is the same. Everyone cut their projects so differently-but you can see how each of the projects had their strengths." I think that that dialogue was something that I so badly needed to hear. I realized that I needed to stop worrying about comparing myself to other students. I had my own strengths and my peers had theirs. Not one of us is the exact same and we will never do things the exact same way, but we are all right in our paths. Although it took some trying, I'm now happy with the place I am in in both my studies and my career path. I know that I am unique in my own way. I understand that instead of comparing myself to others, the best I can do is to just learn from them. It's a lesson that has taken me some time to understand, but I am so glad that I know it now.

Learning Experience #3: Corgis and Car Crashes

While coming back from Thanksgiving break something quite out of the ordinary happened. Let me start at the beginning.

If you don’t know, I live in San Antonio. Usually to get to and from TCU I take a five hour bus ride that is thoroughly unenjoyable. Because of this, I was extremely excited when my friend offered to drive me to TCU. Turns out, she was getting a puppy right around Austin, so she would be in the area. Not only was I happy to know that I wouldn’t have to take the horrid bus, I was also ecstatic to hear that I would be sharing the ride back with a cute corgi puppy named Amber. When Saturday rolled around, I couldn’t wait to get to Austin to meet this new friend. Three of my friends were there to greet me and we got in the car to make our way to Fort Worth.

We couldn’t decide on where to eat. My friends all suggested Chipotle, however I very much dislike Chipotle (I know, I know) so I vocalized against it. Because of that, we decided we would get food further into our trip. We were on the highway laughing and singing along to Taylor Swift. We had our cute little puppy in between me and my friend in the backseat. She was just sitting there on her own when my friend in the passenger seat asked to hold her. No more than five minutes later, it happened.

We crashed. Not only did we crash, but we crashed our friend’s mom’s car. The airbags deployed as my friend did not hesitate a bit to call the police. We all got out of the car shaking. Luckily, we hit a couple who was very nice and tried to sympathize with us. We tried to remain calm, but we all knew that we were shaken up by what just happened. It all seemed to happen in a matter of seconds. Traffic stopped suddenly and my friend was not able to break fast enough. It helped us to hear that the driver that we hit had to literally stand on his breaks so he wouldn’t crash the car ahead of him. We all kept saying that we were lucky that no one got hurt, but we were still freaking out over what had just happened.

After the police came, we tried to drive our car. We couldn’t get more than a few feet before the engine became over-heated. We decided to call our friend’s mom to come pick us up-she was three hours away. In those three hours we sat in our sad crashed car with this two month old puppy. We had gotten various people come up to our car and ask if we were okay. One couple even gave us their phone number and told us that they would be more than willing to even just wait with us till our ride got there.

Through that three hour wait, we had a lot to talk about. In depth conversations about our pasts and dreams for the future were only a small margin of the subjects that we discussed that day. Now that some time has passed since the accident, we cannot help but think of things that could have stopped that experience. We’ve thought about what would have happened if my friend didn’t ask for the puppy five minutes before the crash; if the puppy would have been okay. We discussed what would have happened if my friend was driving in the middle lane instead of the left. Through it all we learned that we cannot just keep over analyzing what happened that day. Some horrible things occurred, but so many other things were pure luck. We were lucky that none of us were hurt, that our friend’s mom could have picked us up, and that our new puppy was okay. We were lucky for those that stopped and asked if we were okay. The domino effect of the actions you take are so easy to get wrapped up in, but wishing you could have done something different does not change what has already happened. I guess the real lesson to take from the event is this: Learn to like Chipotle, it could save you from a car crash.

Conversation Partner #3: Mexican Food Breeds Friendship

         A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to meet up with Maram once again. This time, she wanted to go to Sol de Luna, which was pretty different for us since we usually just meet up on campus. However, I never turn down Mexican food so I agreed to meet her there. When I got there, she was sitting with a table full of people. It didn't surprise me though- Maram has always been a social butterfly in all the other settings we have been in. I was excited to meet all of her new friends and get to know them. I soon found out that a lot of her friends are conversation partners with my friends in the class as well! Small world. I was able to take a picture with one of my new friends and send it to Jordan-her conversation partner. 

It was awesome to hear about all their experiences with their conversation partners. They all seemed so grateful to have them, which is so weird to me because I feel like I should be the one thanking them! Because of them, I have been able to experience a new culture that I would have never known about otherwise. I am extremely thankful for this class and the opportunity to meet someone like Maram and all her friends.

       It didn't take long before her friends welcomed me with open arms. They joked around with me, listened attentively to me and eagerly answered my questions. It had taken me aback a little, seeing as it’s so rare that you meet people that are actually genuinely interested in what you have to say. They asked me so many questions such as where I am from and what I am studying. It was so cool to hear about their experiences and their education as well. It wasn't long until we sifted through all the basic information you disclose when you meet someone and moved onto deeper questions.

Television and movies. It seemed like a rapid fire question round answering all their questions about what movies I have seen or what TV shows I watch. Being a proud film major, I had seen basically all what they had asked me. It was so exciting that I was able to talk to them about these things, seeing as though I have already exhausted all of my friends with these topics. We were able to talk about Friends, How I Met Your Mother, My Sister’s Keeper, Nightcrawler, and so much more. I love being able to talk to others about these things so this conversation just made me feel so much closer to these new found friends even though we had barely met 20 minutes ago. Although we are so vastly different through our countries and background, we completely bonded over something so simple.

It was amazing to meet all of Maram’s friends. It usually takes me a while to warm up to people, so I thought that this meeting would be very awkward for me. Much to my surprise, it certainly wasn’t! I felt so lucky to have been able to share my opinions on movies and tv shows with them. It’s great that this type of media is able to be discussed with people from all over the world- it makes you think about just how alike we all really are.

Learning Experience #2: Cameron's Christmas

On the topic of suicide in class yesterday, I came across a post that I thought that I needed to share with the class. One of the organizations that I am involved with on campus is To Write Love on Her Arms, which is also a national organization that you may have heard of. Basically, the national non-profit organization fights for the destigmatization of mental illness and through that generates revenue that they put directly into treatment and recovery for those that are struggling. 

This story started out as just a recovery program for a friend. *TRIGGER WARNING: ADDICTION AND SELF HARM** Renee was heavily involved with drugs and alcohol and she had a history of self injury. Her friends urged her to get help to which she refused. The night that they convinced Renee to get help, she had self-harmed severely. They had taken to her to a rehab center that refused her. To them, she was deemed as “too great a risk” to take on as a patient. The center told her friends to give them five days. If, in those five days, they were able to keep drugs out of Renee’s system, she would be admitted. In the days that followed, her friends became her church. Renee always found salvation in music so they took her to as many concerts as possible. They star-gazed with her and watched the sunset together with her. After those five days, Renee was able to get the help she needed and has been sober ever since. One of the friends that helped her, Jamie Tworkowski, realized that this isn’t just Renee’s story. Thousands of people must struggle with these issues every day and struggle to get help. To fight against that, he created To Write Love on Her Arms.

Every day, the national organization receives hundreds of e-mails that they read and respond to. Sometimes those e-mails are sent with very heavy hearts, and sometimes they are sent with hope. This e-mail they received was sent with both. The message was sent by a mother whose child committed suicide a few months ago. The holidays coming up will be the first that they will be without him, so they wanted to make it special. The mother prefaced the e-mail by saying that they have always been a stocking stuffer family. She didn’t know what to do with Cameron’s stocking. She didn’t want to not put it up, but she didn’t think she could bear it if it wasn’t getting filled like the rest of her children’s. She then thought of an idea. 

She wants others to do random acts of kindness and then write about it. After that, she wants them to send their family a card with the written description of what they did and she will use those to stuff Cameron’s stocking. She will not read them beforehand, but on Christmas day, the family will read all of the post cards together and see the positive impact Cameron had on other people even in death. 

The truth is, sometimes we never know the reason that others commit suicide, just like the man in the story. They could be struggling with unimaginable things. These random acts of kindness will not only keep Cameron’s memory alive, they may be just the thing that helps others get through the day. I urge you to participate. Below is the mailing address that Cameron’s family would like you to send your messages to:

Cameron’s Stocking
c/o Lou Brandt
10 Railroad Place
Norwich Ct. 06360
OR email it to:
CameronsStocking@gmail.com

Learning Experience #1: Loving Completely

“You can love completely without complete understanding.”

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the quote we discussed in class today. Thinking about the way it relates to my own life, I’m starting to notice which people in my life this holds true for. My mom, my dad, sister, brother, cousins, etc. Then I started to notice that these people all had something in common. The only people I think that this applies to is my family. I’m not sure why. However, I do know that it didn’t always used to be like that.

There used to be a time where I would always forgive friends and others for what they did. Although some may call it letting people “walk all over me” I thought of it as just being a caring person. No matter what anyone did, I would forgive them, as I knew that if I ever made a mistake, I would want others to forgive me in the same way as well. I thought it was a good way to lead life.

It wasn’t until later in life that I discovered that the person getting hurt in the long run with this kind of thinking, is me. Yes, I thought that forgiving people was just a part of life. However, what about a second time? A third time? A sixth? It seemed as though the same people were hurting me over and over and I couldn’t take it anymore. I cut out all the people that just didn’t make me feel good about myself. I thought that maybe I was acting a little harsh, but I needed to do what was best for me.

So, why doesn’t this thinking apply to family for me? The answer: I’m not sure. I feel like maybe its because I’ve always been taught that I HAVE to love family, no matter what. This sense of obligation was always there. Somehow I just feel like I get to chose my friends, but family is what I was stuck with, and will always be stuck with. My parents would frequently tell my brother, sister, and me that we must always stick together, no matter what happens.

In A River Runs Through It, Norman loves his brother unconditionally. It’s something that I admire and that is an important part of the novel. Paul repeatedly got himself into trouble with gambling, however Norman just kept on loving him and kept trying to help him. He didn’t understand why Paul was doing what he did, but he accepted it. Because of this, I just can’t help but think how the movie would have been like if Norman and Paul were just friends. Although it may have still had the same effect for people, I don’t think it would have for me. Maybe I would have taken pity on Norman because of his attachment to Paul.

People have different opinions on who's worthy of their love and who isn’t. I think I’m happy with my decisions. Who knows if that may change in the future.

Conversation Partner #2:Eid-ing

On October 6, I had the pleasure of going to the Eid celebration here at TCU. When I saw Maram last, she had told me that this event was coming up and that she’d really like for me to attend. I wasn’t really sure what the celebration was for, but agreed after seeing how excited she was about it. After going to the event, I was really happy that I was able to be a part of the experience. Upon arrival, I was greeted by familiar faces of the fantastic Lit and Civ II class. After sitting down and chatting for a while with them, the presentation started.

One of the students from Saudi Arabia was talking about what Eid means to them and what it signifies in the culture. For those that don’t know, Eid is a celebration of the breaking of fasting. For this event, many times the elders will give younger family members money or other things that may signify graciousness. This part of the presentation was shown with a funny video that included an elder sitting down in front of a line of young kids. When each of the kids walked up to him, excited for their turn in getting money, each of them greeted their elder with another way of getting the money. For example, one kid walked up to his elder with a card scanner in hand for the elder to swipe his card through and give the child his beloved money. This video got the whole room laughing as pretty much everyone was in on the joke.

Another part of Eid is of course, the feast. I was lucky enough to have eaten so much good food that day. For my meal, I had a chicken kabob, naan, hummus, and my personal favorite, the rice. Maram was a social butterfly that day so it took me a while to finally sit down and have lunch with her. She was telling me about all the foods I had to try and of course her beloved coffee that she had made herself. After that, I had asked if all the other food was prepared by her and the rest of the students, to which she replied quickly, “No, we got it from a store.” When I asked about the validity of the food, she replied that she believed it was pretty authentic. She did however, explain that all parts of Saudi Arabia had different food that was unique to them, so there was no way to get food from each part.

Through the Eid celebration, I was able to talk to other Saudi Arabian students including a boy that had lived in Moncrief last year where I worked as a Desk Assistant. He was telling me all about his studies and how although his English is better than most of the students, he still needs the program to help him out. This made me understand the importance of the program and how special the program is...and what good food they give.